Perhaps you are a veteran of the dating scene and know all the pitfalls. No matter where you stand, dating can be tricky, exhausting, and painful. Dating is hard, and we all understand it as navigating life to find the right one can seem endless. No one teaches you how to be in a relationship, and for the most part we learn by making mistakes. Rarely does dating meet our expectations and we make errors like an inflating an ego, playing games, talking about past relationships and rushing into a relationship, sometimes they can be remedied. However, there are issues that cannot be taken care of and are fatal like cheating, lying, or being selfish. Combined with the personal baggage, the above can sabotage a partnership. Don’t be the person who makes fatal mistakes that could potentially ruin a good relationship.
Here are four tips to consider:
Not Getting to Know Each Other
You heard of the phrase “fools rush in.” There is plenty of truth that back up these three words. People who rush into relationships and intimacy take a gamble. You need to have more than one or two dates to decide if they are worth it pursuing. To have a healthy relationship it takes time and an investment of spending time together is essential to get to know the other person. Let the emotions calm a bit before jumping in to fast. This could scare the other person to the point that they do not want to see you again, or they find that it is too creepy.
Not Being Honest
Are you being honest about your expectations and needs? If not, this can harm your relationship before it gets off the ground. For a mature relationship to grow you need to directly communicate what you want, as if you do not, it is a waste of time. If you know what you want like a long-term relationship, not a casual one, be honest with them before feelings develop. A relationship is doomed if you are not both on the same page because one person will be hurt. Not being honest about your expectations also could make one person work harder on the relationship. Resentment could then develop, and fracture the union.
Talking About the Ex
So you ran into your ex-lover, or they are sending Facebook requests to connect. You have a choice to let them go, or step back into their lives. Nothing kills a relationship faster than being stuck between the past and the future. Do not get involved with anyone unless you know for sure you are done with the ex. This means not constantly bringing them up, connecting on social media, comparing, or texting them. Nobody thinks it is cute, noble or impressive if a person is fawning over another. If that is the case be prepared to be dumped, or stay off the dating market.
Are you the one putting up the red flags? You know those warnings signals that you should run not walk away. If you are the offender take note. Do you repeatedly avoid calls, and just communicate when you want something? If you are constantly on the phone during dinner, that is a sign that there is little interest in the person. Additionally, if you do not show up without a text, or don’t treat the food server’s right—it is you that are putting up those warnings. No one is perfect, but we all need to take responsibility for our actions when dating, so try becoming more courteous.
All relationships have issues, and if there are kinks, they can be worked out for the most part. In order to get to the relationship stage, there needs to be readjustments on your end as well. By avoiding and correcting bad behaviors, you could end up with the right person after all. Learn to manage problems before they become deal breakers.
Read more articles by Divine Akorli.