Dogs over children, that’s what the woman told me as we listened to a little boy having a meltdown in the library. She was happy to have her two dogs who didn’t talk back or embarrass her in public. But as I told her, she also didn’t have someone who would tell her she was loved or would find more ways than she could ask for to show gratitude. And with that she cried, acknowledging, at least for the moment, that she had convinced herself of this lie because she never had such love with her father before he passed. How sad, yet how common.
Broken families seem to be the rule, not the exception today.
Divorce. Single-parent households. Strained parent-child relationships. Children who don’t talk to their parents, and parents who have failed their children. Even those families that look put together often have wounds that run deep. Blame could go in so many directions, with just about everybody holding a piece. But blame alone doesn’t solve the issue of brokenness at hand.
One of the most commonly cited verses about family relationships reads, “Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). In addition to that line, God’s Word instructs parents on how to treat their children, how spouses should interact, and how we should all strive to love one another.
With so much wisdom available to us, why are so many families broken?
And, more importantly, is there a way to stop the ongoing cycle?
The answer is yes, but if we want to help any of our relationships, we have to first be willing to change ourselves. In the face of all this apparent brokenness, we can each return to Scripture, and strive to make sure we are living as we have been called. The more we can be like Christ, the more we invite God to operate in our lives. And whatever isn’t resolved through our actions, we can bring to God through prayer.
Here are seven prayers for broken family relationships:
Reconciliation between Parents
God,
At this point, I’m just not sure what to do. My mom and dad are at war and I’m stuck in the middle. They’re talking bad about each other and finding ways to nitpick, to argue. They even stopped saying, “I love you.” Now, every time I hear them they’re arguing. I mean, I actually never hear them talking to each other unless it’s for conflict.
I’m hurting. I’m hurting so badly. They just don’t get what they’re doing to me, and sometimes, if I’m being honest, I wonder if they care. Or are they just concerned about being right, about scoring points, about themselves?
Lord, I’ve tried to get them to talk, to work things out. I’ve shown them that they make me sad, but their feud continues. As much as I wish it weren’t so, this is obviously out of my control. I can’t make them get along.
So, here I am asking you, God, begging you, help my parents. Help them to be friends again. Help them to love each other as a husband and wife should.
Please. I just don’t know what else to do.
Amen.
Reconciliation between Siblings
God,
I come before you now with a heavy heart. Yet another day has come and gone, and my children are still feuding. One doesn’t like the other for one reason, and the other feels the same way for another reason. Sometimes I understand, but so often, I don’t. They won’t talk things out, and it absolutely breaks my heart. Every single time, it breaks my heart.
What do I do? Have I failed as a parent?
Lord, I’m just not sure about anything right now. Please help me. Please help them. Show them a better way to be. Help them understand how we are called to live, how we are called to love.
I pray for forgiveness, for reconciliation. I pray for love that I wish every sibling could know. Please help them, God.
Amen.
Healthy Communication
Lord, I beseech you now with a prayer for better communication. You know as well as I do that communication in my family needs work. A lot of work. Even my own communication at times falls short. Could you help each of us do better on that front? Could you help each of us to understand what constitutes good communication? Show us when we should listen. Show us when we should speak. Help us to not get angry so quickly.
I pray that we would learn to use the words that exit our mouths to better each other, not harm. Help us to get to a place of healthy communication. And may that newfound healthy communication glorify your name.
In your son’s name. Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes
Connection
God,
There’s been a lot of distance as of late within the family. A lot of disconnect. Everyone is preoccupied with their own thing. Not each other. I’m wondering if you could help us change that dynamic. Instead of us living isolated lives, help us act like a family again. I pray that we would start spending time together over meals, playing games, even watching TV. Show us a better way to be, a better way to love. Help us to love each other like Christ.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Healing
Lord,
There’s been a lot of hurt experienced over the years. Hurt that needs a whole lot of healing. Healing only you can provide. We exchanged our sorry’s, but that isn’t enough. We’ve tried to make amends, but Lord, it just isn’t enough. Some pain, words simply can’t undo. So, I come to you now with this prayer. Please heal all those affected by this broken family dynamic. May each of us come out of this ordeal, wiser, stronger, and more like Christ.
Amen.
Forgiveness
God,
Forgiveness is tough, too tough to manage on our own. My family continues to hold onto grudges and hurt. We have problems from years ago that persists to this day. Lord, please speak to each and every one of us. Expose those areas where we cling to unforgiveness. Remind us that if we want your forgiveness, then we ought to forgive one another. It’s something that we either don’t know or forget time and time again. Lord, please make this time different. Help us to experience forgiveness that sticks, one that lasts a lifetime.
Amen.
Change
Lord,
Change is so easy to talk about, but so hard to do. Yet, I’m so grateful to know that through you, all things are possible. Change is possible. So, I ask you for two things. Lord, could you change me?
I haven’t been the best towards my family. I’ve done things, said things, and carried plenty of regrets. I want to move forward, but I’m afraid of making new mistakes. I want to move forward, but I’m not sure what in me needs to change. You do. And my family does. Please make that clear for me. Please give me the courage to ask them.
The other thing I want to ask Lord, is that you would change my family. Sometimes they get stuck in their own way of doing things and seeing life. But how we see things is not always reality. I pray that just like they see my flaws, that you would help them to see their own, and not just see, but also change them. Help them to mature in their own way, just like you’re helping me.
I hope that with the change, with all of us changing, we can become a family with stronger bonds, and stronger love. Please help us get there, God, no matter how long it takes.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
The Ideal Family
These days, I’m not surprised to hear when someone admits that their family is broken. Though I am glad to hear when people are committed to making things better. I’m no longer shocked to discover someone’s brokenness is the result of their household. Though I am humbled when I find people committed to self-improvement.
I wasn’t born into the ideal family, and chances are, neither were you. My family’s broken, and yours likely is too. God dealt us a certain hand for reasons only He knows. While we may cry, anguish, and question our broken family relationships, God has given us some direction on how we should respond. Among other things, we pray. We pray and we pray and we pray, until the day Jesus calls us home.
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes
