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For the bullied, bullies, and bystanders: This mom has a plan

Impelled to take action when her elementary school-age son with autism was bullied, Shadi Pourkashef made it her mission to bring kindness education to schools across Orange County, California.

The mission of her volunteer bullying prevention program – the Ability Awareness Project – is to reach the bullied, bullies, and bystanders with a vision of compassionately discerning the humanity of each individual.

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To know a person – really recognize them – is a platform for kindness promoted at schools by the Ability Awareness Project to reduce bullying.

The program has reached more than 10,000 students since 2012. Ms. Pourkashef begins her presentations by specifically talking about distinct, sometimes unrecognized talents.

“You want to make sure that the kids understand … people who have different abilities,” she says, adding that she shows video clips of Paralympic athletes. “And a lot of the bullying happens to those people, to kids that have some kind of a diagnosis.”

Learning about people’s abilities is the path to kindness that makes a difference, she adds.

Ruby McCullough, a seventh grader at Vista Del Mar middle school in San Clemente, California, relates a moment of clarity a friend confided to her after one of the presentations: “She felt really bad because she had been bullying … for like a long time. And she realized that she needed to stop because it could result in their life – losing their life.”

When Shadi Pourkashef takes the stage at elementary school auditoriums, students know she’s there to talk about being kind, stopping bullying, and understanding others. So it might be surprising to them that she begins by asking what they think she does outside of her presentations.

The kids guess all kinds of things: “You’re a lawyer.” “You’re a teacher.” “You make drinks at Starbucks.”

Then Ms. Pourkashef shows a photo of herself leading an orchestra and explains that she is a composer for movies and commercials, a piano teacher, and a conductor.

Why We Wrote This

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To know a person – really recognize them – is a platform for kindness promoted at schools by the Ability Awareness Project to reduce bullying.

The kids are amazed. “You couldn’t tell all that just by looking at me, could you?” she asks them.

And that’s the heart of the message that she brings from her Ability Awareness Project (AAP): You don’t know everything that someone is capable of just from a single observation or interaction.

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