Over the past few years, I’ve walked through a season of loss, illness, and grief. Like most women do in difficult seasons, I have fought hard to find meaning and hope here—to press on and endure, to have courage.

But I’d be exaggerating if I told you I enjoyed these trials. I mean, obviously, I’d rather not be sick. Of course, I’d rather my loved ones still be alive. Absolutely, I’d rather be carefree and jolly as if every day was a day at Disneyland. I’d rather not be riding the hot mess express.

During the really dark days, what I grappled with most of all was why it seemed like other people, also struggling with difficult things, seemed to have an unshakeable faith.

They sensed God’s presence with them through it all. They never seemed to doubt God’s care or God’s peace.

I, on the other hand, felt like Jacob wrestling with God, “I will not let you go unless you bless me!”

My typical spiritual disciplines and canned spiritual answers were no longer working to help me feel connected to God. I tried to practice stillness and gratefulness.

1. Be Still and Know That He Is God

I tried to quietly attune my soul to God’s presence. But mostly, I just thrashed around, frustrated that God didn’t feel near. Mostly, I was a bull, and God’s presence was a China Shop.

Of grieving his wife, Joy, C. S. Lewis wrote, “You are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear…Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.”

Had I incapacitated myself from knowing God’s presence because I was so desperate to grab hold of him, so frantic to force God to change my situation?

I decided to meet with a spiritual director, to see if she could help. In our first session together, she asked me this, “What did Jesus do on on AM1160 in Chicago. You can preorder her upcoming children’s book, Big Feeling Days: A Book About Hard Things, Heavy Emotions, and Jesus’ Love, and find and follow her @aubsamp on Instagram. Go to aubreysampson.com for more. 

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These verses serve as a source of renewal for the mind and restoration for the heart by reinforcing the notion that, while human weakness is inevitable, God’s strength is always available to uplift, guide, and empower us. They encourage a shift in focus from our limitations to God’s limitless power, offering a profound sense of hope and assurance in our faith journey.

it’s okay to have doubts and struggles; it’s all a part of the human experience. But please remember that even in these moments of uncertainty, you are not alone. When you’re feeling lost or distant from your faith, take a moment to reflect on the reasons that initially brought you closer to God. Lean on his strength in this time. Remember that God’s love is unconditional, and He is patient with us, even when we’re struggling.

Believe that you will emerge from this season of struggle even stronger in your faith. Keep moving forward and know that your spiritual journey is filled with hope, love, and the unwavering presence of God.

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