The profound sorrow of losing a loved one touches each of us. It caught me by surprise in the dark morning hours of June 24, 2021, when my grandmother’s building in Surfside, Florida, suffered a catastrophic failure as it collapsed within seconds. She was killed, along with 97 other helpless people. The ages of those who died ranged from 1 to 92, my beloved grandmother being the eldest victim. The collective pain and suffering have been incalculable.

Grief Casts Its Shadow on the Human Journey

About 2.5 million people die in the United States annually, each leaving an average of five grieving people behind. Grief casts its influence over every individual, manifesting in diverse ways and shapes. Whether stemming from the passing of a dear person, the upheaval of job loss, or the dissolution of a marriage, the experience of sorrow is a universal facet of our human journey.

None of us are spared from collapses around us, but we can spare a collapse within us. When it feels like your world is collapsing, it’s usually from a severed relationship in one of four forms — a burial, betrayal, break-up, or a bodily breakdown. Although our circumstances may be diverse, the feelings are the same, and so is the process of healing.

The Cure is Hidden Within the Curse

However, the notion that “time heals all wounds” is misleading and inaccurate. A more accurate statement is “time reveals all wounds.” Neglected grief will hide in the shadows and hold you captive because our souls require care and attention, just like our bodies. Invalidating your grief negates your relief. Unaddressed emotional wounds will poison your soul with toxins of fear and the venom of bitterness.

For example, venomous creatures like snakes, scorpions, spiders, and stingrays produce fatal poisons. Molecules called toxins are what make it such an effective and fatal weapon. Some toxins are designed to attack the bloodstream, causing heart failure. Others invade the nervous system, resulting in paralysis, loss of consciousness, and even brain damage. Some are known to severely damage skin tissue, corrode muscles, and often lead to long-term disabilities.

Here’s the paradox: that same venom also contains the cure to save lives. The key to life-saving anti-venoms is injecting a minuscule, harmless dose of venom. This prompts the immune system to defend the body by generating antibodies. Snakebites are especially lethal, yet almost all snakebite victims in the U.S. survive simply because of anti-venom. The cure is hidden within the curse.

Similarly, when you’re bitten or stung with heartbreak, you must administer anti-venom before the internal corrosion begins to have lasting effects that crush your spirit. Just as toxins disable their targets, the same is true of traumatic heartbreak. It can attack the bloodstream of your emotions, resulting in heart failure from hopelessness. Broken heart syndrome can invade your nervous system and infiltrate your mind with anxiety. Symptoms are “loss of consciousness” to live in the present, failure to move forward into your future, and internal paralysis derived from fear.

Allow God to Transform Your Heart

What we need is often hidden within the things that are painful initially. It’s like the very thing that brings pain also contains the seeds of its solution or transformation. Pain doesn’t define us. It refines us. Romans 8:28 reminds us that, “…God works all things for the good of those who love him.” That doesn’t mean He causes bad things to happen or everything that happens is good. It means that even in the worst situations, God can use what happened to us, to work for the good of us.

Oftentimes, we pray for God to change our external circumstances, unaware that He’s working to transform our hearts from the inside out. When we rely solely on ourselves instead of God, we end up blinded by our limited sight. However, true transformation begins when we allow God to change our hearts and shift our internal perspective. It’s not about waiting for God to align with our desires; rather, it’s about aligning our hearts with His divine desires. Sometimes, what you receive as deception is from your own misguided perception. It only takes a minor shift in perspective to transform your entire outlook on life. After all, the difference between cures and a curse is shifting one letter!

The Mark of an Uncollapsable Soul

Remember, “a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of disaster and collapse.” (Proverbs 24:16 AB) It’s not the absence of falling that defines a person’s character, but their ability to rise again after falling. The righteous person falls. The wicked person stays down. The righteous person has faith that failure is not the end of the story. The righteous aren’t immune to failure or setbacks; they’re immune to collapse.

The mark of an Uncollapsable Soul is not that they don’t fall, but that they don’t take on the identity of fallen! Calling often reveals itself through falling. You don’t get stronger in the breaking; you get stronger through healing. There’s nothing more inspiring than a person who suffers through a collapse around them but perseveres because of the Uncollapsable Soul within them! YOU are called to be that person.

Mike Noriega is a spokesperson, author and public speaker. Through his personal journey with loss following the aftermath of the Surfside Condo Collapse, Noriega has become an inspirational voice for both his family and community, sharing their experience, struggles, and unwavering faith through the colossal tragedy. He has shared several platforms with notable figures such as Florida Governor Ron Desantis; Miami Dade Mayor Daniela Levine Cava; Pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr. of VOUS Church and many others. Noriega’s mission is to guide and empower others in their journey of hope, healing, and restoration, offering the wisdom of an “uncollapsable” soul, even in the face of heartbreak. For more information on his book, grieving process and journey to faith, visit https://mikenoriega.com/ or follow him on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Tik Tok.