5 Challenges Every Pastor’s Wife Will Face

5. Competition

Slide 5 of 5

Another unique challenge is when pastor’s wives feel they have leadership qualities they would like to use within the church, yet other women are in those leadership roles. A pastor’s wife can feel stunted in her spiritual growth and leadership capabilities simply because there is no role for her at the church. This is especially true if a pastor and his family enter an already-established church. Some churches have ministries already set in place for people in leadership there. People don’t want the pastor’s wife, who is already seen as intimidating, infringing upon their ministry status. She may feel as if there are limited (if any) roles she can serve within the church. Service is a place for a pastor’s wife to feel she can best love on the congregation. If she feels there are no ministry opportunities, she’ll feel stuck and simply fill a pew instead of being utilized powerfully by God.

If this is the case for your pastor’s wife, speak to the people in leadership. Ask for a co-leadership role or another way in which a pastor’s wife can still minister to the congregation, utilize her spiritual gifts, and allow people to benefit from her wisdom and experience. Change is another factor when it comes to people and their leadership. Help people embrace change and help them embrace the pastor’s wife, and she will feel as if she has a place within that church home.

The pastor’s wife is a unique, yet often unappreciated, gift to a congregation. A pastor’s wife can sometimes fill the emotional void left by pastors and leadership. Love your pastor’s wife as if it were yourself. Empower her to use her gifts powerfully for God, get to know her, and allow her to be herself. Accept her as you would any other member of your congregation. In so doing, you will be able to open and utilize the gift that God has given you through your pastor’s wife.

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Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website

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