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Another unique challenge is when pastor’s wives feel they have leadership qualities they would like to use within the church, yet other women are in those leadership roles. A pastor’s wife can feel stunted in her spiritual growth and leadership capabilities simply because there is no role for her at the church. This is especially true if a pastor and his family enter an already-established church. Some churches have ministries already set in place for people in leadership there. People don’t want the pastor’s wife, who is already seen as intimidating, infringing upon their ministry status. She may feel as if there are limited (if any) roles she can serve within the church. Service is a place for a pastor’s wife to feel she can best love on the congregation. If she feels there are no ministry opportunities, she’ll feel stuck and simply fill a pew instead of being utilized powerfully by God.
If this is the case for your pastor’s wife, speak to the people in leadership. Ask for a co-leadership role or another way in which a pastor’s wife can still minister to the congregation, utilize her spiritual gifts, and allow people to benefit from her wisdom and experience. Change is another factor when it comes to people and their leadership. Help people embrace change and help them embrace the pastor’s wife, and she will feel as if she has a place within that church home.
The pastor’s wife is a unique, yet often unappreciated, gift to a congregation. A pastor’s wife can sometimes fill the emotional void left by pastors and leadership. Love your pastor’s wife as if it were yourself. Empower her to use her gifts powerfully for God, get to know her, and allow her to be herself. Accept her as you would any other member of your congregation. In so doing, you will be able to open and utilize the gift that God has given you through your pastor’s wife.
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Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer
One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to pray for your spouse and your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an essential guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the same page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you how to specifically pray for your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:
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