“Come as you are.” The church could be considered God’s welcome mat. But so often, when people arrive, they feel as if the rug has been pulled from under them. 

While walking through a church’s doors is easy, staying can be a slippery slope. After the right hand of fellowship, there are some conditions in fine print. While our mouths say, “Come on in,” the church’s body language says, “Don’t come any closer”:

Come as you are, but please don’t come in jeans and a T-shirt. 
Please don’t come with dyed hair, tattoos or piercings. 
Don’t come single, separated, divorced or childless. This is a family church and we have a reputation to protect.
Please don’t come late and do not sit in my seat. 
Do not go to the bathroom during the service. 
Please do not cross your legs. 
Do not fold your arms.
Do not clap your hands.
Do not raise your voice in song or agreement with the sermon. 
Frankly, don’t move a muscle. 
“If you are happy and you know it,” let the awareness be sufficient. Don’t tell me.

Though churches are not filled with perfectly good people, we have a culturally sensitive, personalized, and sanitized image of Christians in our minds. We have it all figured out, and if new converts and members would just look, behave, and speak how we think all human beings should, then all would be well. 

Why can’t everyone just be more like us?  

Sadly, these people come to church for Jesus only to meet our judgments. Graham Allen, a YouTube vlogger, said, “If you want to find the most self-centered, judgmental people in the world, they go to this place called church once a week on Sunday.” Ouch.

Hypocrisy and church hurt are the criticisms of a generation or two and one of the reasons for the graying of the North American church. But these criticisms are not new. 

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “In truth, there was only one Christian and he died on the cross.” Singer Bono quipped, “Christians are hard to tolerate; I don’t know how Jesus does it.”

But it doesn’t stop at the pews. We have a vision for the appearance and behavior of the pastor. We even know what messages the pastor should preach and have a few notes on sermon delivery if you have a few minutes after church. 

Unfortunately, we see Jesus no differently. We love for him to attend church, but just as a guest. 

“Just don’t touch anything or anyone. Okay, Jesus?”

It’s no surprise that we look, say and do things differently. The world’s diversity is not a new reality or struggle for the church in North America or elsewhere.  

Still, you might have a position description for the kind of Christians you are looking for. However, Peter said, “The Spirit told me to go with them and not to make a distinction between them and us” (Acts 11:12). 

I agree with him and bell hooks, who said, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” In addition, Stanley Hauerwas offers this charge: “We shall have to break our habit of having church in such a way that people are deceived into thinking that they can be Christians and remain strangers.” 

While I have seen clever messages on welcome mats like “Leave food and go away,” “No appointment necessary,” or “Warning; just so you know, there’s a lot of kids in here,” I often wonder what Christians are saying that prompts not only visitors but also other Christians to refuse to set foot inside a church again. 

Welcome mat replaced with sparring mat; I know we all have our reasons.