Disability often makes people uncomfortable, but that doesn’t need to be the case! Disability isn’t a dirty word! Don’t shy away but engage with disabled people and their families. Accessibility sometimes means doing things differently to how they’ve been done in the past. Change can be hard, but not being welcomed in the church is harder. Asking people what could make church accessible to them is showing them neighbourly love
Being the parent of a disabled child is an absolute joy, and a total privilege. A child’s purpose is never solely to teach parents, but our son has undoubtedly taught me more than I’ve taught him; about life, privilege, faith, God.. I could go on and on. I’m so proud of him, just as I am of our other son. The things that are hard about parenting a disabled child are not in relation to who he is, but about the world in which we live and how it disables him. (This is why advocacy is such a big part of parenting a disabled child, the world is often inaccessible and it is all too often a fight to get access and support.)
It can be very tough for many reasons, and I think one of them is a lack of understanding. Christians can do community well, but in terms of support for families of disabled children (I can’t speak for disabled adults because I’m not one) I think we struggle.
I have felt inadequate every day since becoming a mum. Not all day, every day, but certainly every day. I think it’s fairly normal, and my friends with children of similar ages chat about feeling the same way. Adding into the chaos is having children who are a different race to me, therefore having lots of experiences I don’t/won’t have, and now having a deaf child who will experience more things I’m not equipped to deal with.
The vulnerability I feel about these pushed me to learn, and I’m thankful to people who have shared their experiences so that I can be a more prepared parent. But I think the church community can go a long way in supporting parents like me. Since our boy’s diagnosis, we have found support from other parents in the same boat, all sailing the disability parenting seas in what feels like a teeny row boat during a thunderstorm. This type of support has been a game-changer, and I’d love to see more of this coming from churches too.
I’ve been thinking about things I wish people understood about families with disabled children.