Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up

Young adults today have less friendships, genuine social interaction, abilities to make a decision, and live in constant fear—fear of things that are not scary. Fear of life. Shrier explains why. We live in a strange new world that overly values gentle parenting; trauma-based therapy (even where there’s no trauma); over-medicating of our children; and empathy over sympathy. In flame throwing fashion, each of these problems are addressed by Shrier—and she’s a convincing voice. 

Some of you need to fire your child’s therapist right away. Some of you need to figure out what interactions your school psychologist, counselors, and paraprofessionals are having with your children.


Children are being ruined by therapeutic parenting and our therapeutic culture.

If you are a therapist you may need to be repenting due to causing more harm than good. Therapists and the therapizing of our children may be responsible for a large portion of the immaturity, anxiety, depression, and suicidality of our nation’s youth. We have created a generation of adults in “emotional snow suits” and have children that are afraid to live life at full volume.

Abigail Shrier’s Bad Therapy: Why The Kids Aren’t Growing Up (Penguin Random House: 2024) was an eye opening look at competing peer reviewed literature pertaining to the psychotherapy given to children.

Shrier is not my religion, has a different view of human nature than me, listens to different podcasts than I do, has a very different worldview than me—and yet, I appreciated Shrier’s book immensely. 

I believe that everyone who has a child or grandchild needs to read this book. I believe that everyone that has children in public schools—and Christian—ought to read this book. I believe that all therapists, counselors, and all who are trained in Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) ought to read this book. Pastors, elders, and Sunday school workers—the world is different than the one that you grew up in—and in part—it is because we have therapized our children. We have turned them over to professionals and turned off the parental instincts that God has given to us through the light of nature. In fact, all parents should read this book as it is the parental air that we breathe—coddling, empathizing, “partnering” with our children.

Now, some children need therapy. Let me say that again: some children need therapy. Most do not. Shrier discusses this fact, but overall this book is not for the genuinely abused, harmed, and neglected. This book is for everyone else. Those who believe that we all can benefit from therapy and believe that all need a professional to talk to. This book will be more beneficial to most parents than paying a therapist.

Shrier divides the book into three main sections.
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