When Christians really struggle—and all of us will, at different times—it seems that it’s automatically assumed the fundamental problem is a spiritual one. We conclude that something must be wrong in our relationship with God. Our Christian counselling tends to be over-spiritualised. Thus our solutions are merely spiritual, believing the struggles to be spiritual. But that’s hopelessly reductionistic. It’s also dangerously simplistic.
I am not a counselling guru. Nor have I read a bunch of books on Christian counselling. But I do have many conversations with Christian leaders. It’s usually in a decent coffee shop and it starts with us shooting the breeze. Eventually, however, the conversation evolves into a discussion about their struggles—both personally and in ministry. Coffee, chat, and counsel; mutually enriching times. But through these chats, I’ve noticed a few emerging patterns.
Let me recount three chats that are not uncommon.
Commonplace, Hyper-Spiritualised Chats
Dave is a youth pastor under serious strain. He has a young family (i.e. sleep deprivation), a demanding ministry load, and he’s falling behind in his ongoing theological studies. There’s also uncertainty about his future ministry prospects. Working at several things, he doesn’t seem to be getting traction in any of them. Fatigue. Distraction. Overwhelm. Trouble sleeping. Low motivation. So I’m concerned. Terms like depression and burnout come to mind, so I encourage him to take a break, cutting the studies, or adjusting ministry commitments.
Jill is a middle-aged Christian woman, and a deaconess in her church. She’s been battling with severe, long-term depression. Her concerned and believing brother has tried to help and encourage her. He approached her with a rigid, counselling template: cease taking antidepressants. He has also advised Jill to write down every known sin in her life and then identify the biblical texts that address them. This should be followed up with confession, prayer, and an active trust in the gospel. None of this seems to be helping Jill. If anything, it’s deepening her despair and feelings of hopelessness.
Rick is a church leader, consumed by conflict and unhappiness at home. He has three children, the youngest is just a few weeks old and very sick. Family dynamics are deeply unhealthy. He and his wife are constantly at loggerheads. Rick knows he’s impatient and grumpy, but feels that his wife too is moody and always tired. Guilt is one of his prevalent feelings. On top of that, his ministry is hugely demanding. So he wonders: What is God teaching me in all of this? Am I missing spiritual lessons? Is God disciplining me?
Don’t Isolate Problems from the Rest of Your Life
Here’s the thing. When Christians really struggle—and all of us will, at different times—it seems that it’s automatically assumed the fundamental problem is a spiritual one. We conclude that something must be wrong in our relationship with God. Our Christian counselling tends to be over-spiritualised. Thus our solutions are merely spiritual, believing the struggles to be spiritual. But that’s hopelessly reductionistic. It’s also dangerously simplistic.