My husband and I are often asked when we are having a second child. While maybe not the most appropriate question, I assume they are asking with good intentions. And also because they see how wonderfully cute our son Jameson is and think the world needs more of that.

Over the past few months, I’ve started answering by saying, “When someone volunteers to pay for a second daycare tuition!” While I say it in jest, I also say it because it’s true.

Both of us have decent-paying jobs and three master’s degrees between the two of us. We manage our money well and paid off debt before having our son.

We have done everything in a way that society deems “right.” (I don’t believe there is a “right” way. People do what they need to do.)

Despite all that, we can’t afford to have a second child primarily because of the price of daycare, assuming we can even find a daycare with an open spot. Texas currently has 27% fewer childcare centers than before the pandemic.

What does navigating this reality look like? By the time I was ten weeks pregnant with our son, we had been placed on numerous waitlists. By the end of my maternity leave, the only daycare we had received placement for was part-time.

So, for about four and a half months, we had part-time childcare while both worked full-time. Doing the math, we were on ten different waitlists for a year and a half before getting a spot at one for full-time care.

That spot then cost us $930 a month.

If we had two children, our monthly daycare payments would be more than our mortgage. I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford a second mortgage. 

Some may ask, “Why don’t you just stay home with your children instead of working?”

First, would you ask that question if I were a man? Probably not. 

Second, I genuinely love my job and believe I’m called to do this vital work. Last, we can’t afford to do that either!

This is the situation many millennial families find themselves in— they can’t afford childcare for multiple children and cannot afford for one of the parents to stay home with the children either. 

There are so many barriers to having children. The