6 Steps to Find Lasting Love in the Dating Scene

Is it love fulfilled or lust unfulfilled that drives our swiping habits? Many turn to dating apps seeking meaning, excitement, or validation of self-worth. The instant gratification of matching with someone can provide a temporary high, but it will not satisfy the deeper longings of the heart.

Moreover, fears and insecurities can impact our experiences on and off dating apps. The fear of rejection, the pressure to portray a perfect image, and the temptation to compare oneself to others can all contribute to anxiety and uncertainty in the dating world.

Baggage from past relationships or personal struggles can also color our interactions. Whether it’s unresolved trauma, emotional wounds, or unhealthy patterns, these factors can affect how we approach potential relationships and hinder our ability to experience genuine connection on a dating app, in a relationship, or in a marriage.

Amid this complexity, what is truly missing is purity in the way we think, love and live. Sadly, where destruction from the pharisee rules of the ‘purity doctrine’ left off, the victory of realizing how loved you are by Christ needed to take over.

You have to understand that no matter how many affirmations you make, no matter how many people match your profile, no matter how much attention you garner on social media or on a dating app, you cannot love yourself unless you know how loved you are by your Creator. It is only from this place that we understand that we are all simply sinners in need of a Savior!

Jesus Christ, through His transformative love and grace, offers the ultimate pathway to reclaiming purity in our lives. Only through a relationship with Him can we find true fulfillment and restoration that transcends the fleeting pleasures of lust so we can embrace the depth of genuine love.

The Bible teaches us that love is patient, kind, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It calls us to honor God with our bodies and uphold the sanctity of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4). This biblical perspective challenges us to elevate our standards and align our desires with God’s design for relationships. Not because God will strike us dead if we don’t – but because He wants what’s best for us, and there is no failure in His will.

As believers, we are called to pursue relationships with integrity and purpose. This means approaching dating apps with discernment and intentionality, seeking to honor God in our interactions and choices. It means prioritizing emotional and spiritual compatibility over superficial attractions. It means swiping left when the only thing connecting you with someone is your fleshly attractions.

Ultimately, the Bible, which you may have never read, offers a blueprint for healthy relationships and a vision for love that transcends cultural norms and societal pressures. It invites us to embrace purity as a lifestyle—a commitment to honoring God in our thoughts, words, and actions. Why? Because His love for you is so powerful that you come to love yourself

So, to swipe or not to swipe is more than a question of convenience—it’s a reflection of our deepest desires and values.

In conclusion, the question of whether Christians should use dating apps requires thoughtful consideration and discernment. While dating apps can offer opportunities to meet new people and explore potential relationships, it’s important to approach them with a mindset rooted in biblical values and a commitment to honor God in all aspects of life. If your mind and soul are in the right place – your body will follow.


Well, I constructed some guidelines for Christians to navigate dating apps with integrity! I don’t assume that many of you who are single are out and about, or even in church, meeting new and interesting people daily. I deal in reality. I have to. I have many beautiful Christian sisters and brothers who have resorted to dating Apps because they are too busy, too focused, and too clear about what they want and don’t want to edit over endless coffees and lunches on their own.

Sometimes, you need help. That help can lead you to victory and tremendous time savings.

When you log on to the app, as clear about what it means to be a Christian waiting for marriage as you are about winning in your desire for Godly love, you become a powerful candidate for the love you desire.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Inside Creative House

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