Marriage is for the here and now reality, as many vows say, “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live.” It’s not just for the times we feel loved or we feel like loving—it is for life. While God provides divorce as an option for particular circumstances, it is not to be pursued as a response to every unwanted, unexpected, or unfair situation. In anticipation of marital challenges, couples wisely pray for God to renew, add to, and even multiply their love for one another (Matt. 7:7), knowing that God is pleased to answer such prayers (1 John 5:14–15). One reason couples need such prayers is because we are still sinners, but this is no reason to lose hope.
With so much said about marriage, it’s important to remember the essentials. Whether you are married or single, here are five things you should know about marriage summarized by the famed five Ws: who, what, when, where, and why.
1. Who: Marriage Is Designed by God, for One Man and One Woman, Evenly Yoked (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:4–5)
God created marriage. If we expect God’s blessing on marriage, it’s wise to heed His rules for it. Most importantly for Christians, this means sharing the same faith (2 Cor. 6:14). Sometimes a Christian ends up married to a non-Christian because people change. Either one spouse comes to faith or one spouse proves never to have had true faith in the first place. Though God permits such mixed-faith marriages, and even works through such marriages, He commands us not to enter such a marriage by choice. For a Christian to choose to marry a non-Christian is to walk away from Christ rather than toward Him and to lose step with the Spirit rather than keeping in step with Him (Gal. 5:16–19).
2. What: Marriage Is a Lifelong Union between Husband and Wife, Picturing the Relationship between Christ and the Church
Marriage entails two people leaving their family of origin to start a new family. A Christian marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church, His bride (Eph. 5:32; 2 Cor. 11:2). As such, husbands are given commands modeled after Christ’s role as head of the church. Husbands are called to lead sacrificially, even to lay down their life for their wife as Christ did for the church (Eph. 5:25). Similarly, wives are given commands corresponding to the church’s role as the body of Christ. Wives are called to submit to their husband as the church submits to Christ (Eph. 5:24). Both roles are equally important. What an honor and responsibility couples have to reveal the relationship between Christ and the church through their marriage.