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National Coming Out Day: Following the Example of Jesus

National Coming Out Day is a subversive celebration, a defiant exaltation of identity. To celebrate coming out is to recognize the glory of our God-given identity, despite the efforts of so many to make those identities shameful and secret. 

On October 11, I want to recognize the joy and bravery of coming out and acknowledge that when we do, we are in excellent company. When Queer folx come out, we follow Christ’s example. Jesus’s entire gospel story is one of coming out. 

Jesus knew in his bones that he wasn’t like the other kids. He knew there was something more to his life and calling than he had been led to believe by the leaders and teachers around him. 

He made people uncomfortable. People questioned him and wanted him to stay quiet.

They tried to silence and marginalize him and when none of that worked, they killed him. That sounds strangely familiar in a country where mainline evangelicalism continues to attempt to silence and marginalize LGBTQ+ individuals, doesn’t it? 

In Mark 3, the people in his hometown think Jesus is crazy. Religious leaders accuse him of being demon-possessed and his family attempts to corral him to avoid further embarrassment. 

For so many Queer people, the language of sinful desire and demonic forces have been weaponized against our basic identities.

Our families, even those who have been largely supportive, have often urged us to stay quiet so they might save face with their religious friends. After all, it is easier for us to slip away from view than for them to explain what went wrong for us to turn out this way.

Jesus came out as the Messiah repeatedly.

To his family.
At his baptism.
To the woman at the well in Samaria.
To his disciples upon Peter’s proclamation in Caesarea Philippi.
Before Caiaphas after his arrest.

Throughout the gospels, Jesus speaks the truth about his identity and purpose, much to the confusion, frustration, and chagrin of those around him. 

The truth is that this should have come as no surprise to those around Jesus. His parents had known of his identity since his conception. The religious leaders ought to have seen something unique in the eyes and actions of a twelve-year-old boy who escaped his parents’ watchful eye to speak with and teach them something new about the Torah they knew so well.

Likewise, when Queer people come out, it shouldn’t be shocking. We are the same as we have always been; nothing has changed. And yet, with the simple proclamation of our own truth, the way we are perceived, and moreover, the way we are treated, changes sometimes instantaneously. 

Further, like Jesus, we don’t have the luxury of coming out only once.

Any Queer person will tell you the exhaustion that comes with coming out over and over and over again. With each new person you meet at work, at church, at your kids’ school— you have to decide. Do I tell this person? How do I tell them? How will they react? 

Coming out is a conscious choice to steel yourself and prioritize your truth over the sensitivities of others. 

Jesus serves as a kind, persistent, yet unyielding example of what it means to come out. The truth about his identity was paramount to the way he chose to exist within the world. And on National Coming Out Day, for Queer folx, that is a source of immense hope and inspiration.

And for those who don’t have the privilege of being Queer, it is a lesson and a warning. The wrongdoing of those who didn’t celebrate Christ’s coming out has been made clear by the overwhelming arc of history toward justice. 

The Church must examine its own willingness to make the same mistake. 

When we come out, we invite the world to celebrate with us. The Church must learn from Christ’s ministry of coming out so that it might accept our modern-day invitation. 

Trent Clifford is a speaker, spiritual director, and author of Reclaiming Faith: Learning to Reimagine Church, God, and Ourselves. He shares weekly on his substack newsletter, https://rewritingfaith.substack.com, and more about his work can be found at https://www.reclaimingfaith.org/

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