Editor’s Note: The following reflection first appeared in the July/August 2024 issue of Nurturing Faith Journal. Beginning in 2025, Nurturing Faith will become Good Faith Magazine and available free of charge to all Good Faith Advocates.

Little angels, that’s what they are. The children who disrupt worship are little angels. Angels don’t have wings or feathers, but they do have important messages.

I planned to use those opening sentences as the closing sentences, but I couldn’t wait. However creative a congregation might get in dealing with the question of what to do with children on Sunday morning, they will ultimately choose a variation of one of three options. 

1. Children are never in “Big Church.”
   2. Children are always in “Big Church.”
   3. Children begin worship in “Big Church” but are eventually dismissed into children’s church.

Variations would make the list longer, but these options are it. Each has pros and cons that make sense at different times, even for the same congregation. The “right” approach is very often a temporary solution.

There is a list of maxims that carry weight and must be spoken into every conversation about this matter: Parents need a break. Congregants without children shouldn’t have to be bothered. Distractions disrupt the flow of the worship service. Children learn from seeing how adults conduct themselves in worship. Children are learning and listening, even if they aren’t focused on the song or sermon.

When all the obvious give-and-take statements have been made, the minister, the committee, the team, or business meeting folks must finally decide what they want to accomplish and how close they can reach that goal.

Who or what is the focus of the discussion? God? The congregation? The parents? The kids? Worship? Oh, and what of the kids without parents present?

These are essential questions. There are always more questions than answers. What about the sermons? How graphic can the preacher get in sermons about the cross when kids are present? God help us.

Then there are the painfully silent congregations, those that no longer have any children around to worry about. Their concerns are about how to get (noisy) young families back into the church. They need more new ideas, more life, more energy in the congregation, and more young leadership. The dilemma is another facet of the tension between “make a joyful noise” and “keep silence before Him.” A change in worship style is often seen as the only path forward.

Returning to an earlier question: “What about the sermons?” Let’s add to it, “What about the music?” “What about the rituals?” Is the answer to keep it all at a juvenile level–no mystery, no unusual words, no messiness?

Children are the most awe-capable, the most wonder-prone of all humans. Let them lead us to wonder.

Let the presence of children require of us clarity without sensationalism in matters of blood and death and life issues. Let there be “plain English” engagement of rituals, and new words to learn in our songs. Let us teach the vocabulary of our liturgy as we go, a sort of on-the-job training. Children are learning-oriented. Teaching that elevates the learner not only respects the children who are present in worship but also creates a connection with “uninitiated” adults.

Let the children lead us to the visitors and seekers. Clarity of language and an invitation to learn are good reviews and reminders for the seasoned worshiper, as well.

Children learn patterns of speech and movement by observation. Children learn magnitudes and levels of importance by watching the postures and attitudes of the adults in their lives. Children learn rhymes, lyrics, and stories almost coincidentally, and certainly without understanding the meaning of the memorized words. They then grow into the definitions, implications, and weight of the words that have been, until then, only meter and movement.

Being mindful of children in worship does not necessitate dilution or dumbing down. It requires humility, honesty, and respect for the processes of teaching and learning. The presence of children in worship requires us to hear “Let the children come unto me” (Matt. 19:14) and “Except that you become as a little child” (Matt. 18:3-5) with fresh ears.

Ultimately, “children in worship” is not a child issue. It is an adult issue. It is not an isolated “graded ministry” issue. It is a congregation-wide issue. It is a matter of listening to the angels, that is, to the messengers.

Angels are best known for their “Be not afraid” and ” For unto you this day” messages. Some angels are good wrestlers. Some are sly “unawares” companions along the way. Some are sent to be glorious distractions from our decorum, future leaders with the current messages: “Be not afraid; your congregation is blessed with life and learning”  and “For unto you this day is born the noise and wiggles of hope.”