I know the sensation of dark pits in the stomach. As a survivor of developmental trauma, their presence is a regular occurrence— a vacuum, a hole in my gut that seems like it will suck me through the floor. Or, sometimes it feels like it will move up from the gut into the throat, creating a pool of sourness that makes its way up to my head, causing me to get floaty, sometimes fully dissociated.

Many things in my life have been the culprits for such sensations. In the past year, nothing evokes them quite as much as seeing someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ proclaiming their support for Donald Trump. 

Do you not get it?

Even if you believe that he means no harm to the various members of our community, and you have articles and citations to back it up, can’t you see that many of the people and forces supporting his ascendency to power want to eliminate us from the earth? Have you read the draft of Project 2025?

Christian nationalists or other extreme fundamentalist Christians generally do not believe our identities are valid. They believe that how we exist in the world and who we are are “sins.” 

These are not just religious beliefs they practice on their own. They are fully committed to legally stripping us of any remaining rights we have in this country.

I grew up in this and know how such folks operate. If you think for a minute that you would be spared if Trump had to choose between their support and keeping us safe, think again. 

I’ve tried to understand. I know binaries can be tricky, having been caught in a few moments of “if I share what I really think on this issue, even my liberal friends will cancel me” on a variety of matters, such as fiscal spending or the Israel-Gaza war. It is not lost on me that someone can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or another sexual minority and still hold beliefs that do not mesh with the Left’s party line.

In addition to reading the articles, exploring the websites, and watching the videos that defend how you can be both queer and a Trump supporter, I can appreciate that being chastised or even shamed for not following a party line can make swinging to the opposite side more appealing. What I cannot stomach is how you, as marginalized people, can hang on to beliefs that are racist in nature (e.g., “Obama divided this country, not Trump.”) 

Or how gay men, lesbian women and bisexual individuals can throw transgender people under the bus so easily. Some of the most hateful memes and social commentary that appear on my social media feeds about transgender individuals are from gay men.

What is this really about, friends? Do you think that by offering up transgender people as villains, shaming them as many on the religious right continue to shame you, you will somehow make yourselves feel better?

I look at someone like Caitlyn Jenner, who, as a trans woman, continues to double down on conservative politics, even declaring her support for Trump in this upcoming election. I’ve tried to get it. 

All I can conclude is that the values she held dear earlier in her life that were racist, misogynistic, and toxically conservative in nature did not loosen just because she bravely stepped into living as her authentic self. One could argue, I guess, that even when she stepped into her authenticity in terms of her gender, the other authentic beliefs about the rest of humankind stayed intact. 

One piece of consolation I take from my own mental wrestling with your support of Trump is that your existence, being out as LGBTQ+ or any combination thereof, proves that our sexuality and gender identity is not a choice. Because if it were, surely it would be an easier life for you as conservatives if you chose to be straight and cisgender.

So, in the spirit of smashing binaries and building bridges of understanding, I want to embrace you and hear your stories. Yet something about that ugly pit in my stomach tells me that I am not safe to do that with you. Because I don’t know if you realize just how much more conservative forces want us gone, silenced, or at the very least, locked back in the closet.