Forgiveness is the foundation of our Christian faith and the Good News of the Gospel. Miraculously and divinely, we were forgiven of all our past transgressions and sins when we repented and asked Jesus Christ for forgiveness. The slate wiped clean. 

If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 NLT

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean. Ps. 32:1 The Message

We didn’t deserve forgiveness, but Jesus granted us grace and unearned mercy. Yet, we can still find ourselves in situations where our actions or words offend someone, either intentionally or unintentionally. We may expect others to be like Jesus and grant us forgiveness when we say we’re sorry. But sometimes they don’t. Reconciliation is two-way and can’t be forced or coerced.

Even Christians can find it difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt them. I was once deeply offended and felt betrayed by the actions of a fellow Christian. Later, they admitted they were wrong and asked for my forgiveness. I could see they were genuinely sincere and I wanted to forgive them because I knew as brothers and sisters in Christ that we’re to settle our differences and biblically live in peace as much as it is up to us. 

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Rom 12:18

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” Luke 17:3
 
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Cor. 13:11 

Yet, even knowing the above verses, I still found it difficult to grant this repentant person total clemency, although I did say I appreciated the honesty of the apology. I didn’t utter the words, “I forgive you.” So I can understand and appreciate that we’re not always going to be forgiven even when we sincerely are sorry for our actions.

If we need to go to someone and ask forgiveness for our unrighteous behavior, we must do it. We can’t, however, base the sincerity of our apology on whether or not they accept it. As disappointing as it might be, reconciliation cannot be forced or cajoled if someone isn’t ready to forgive us or restore the relationship. 

So what do we do then? Here are five biblical ways to move forward when someone can’t find it in their heart at this time to forgive you.

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