I am talking with a kid about the upcoming festival of Purim, and this is what she asked me.
“Why aren’t there more people like Queen Esther today?”
This was my answer to that child.
“There are.
My friend, Vanessa Hidary.”
Vanessa Hidary is a cool person. She is a spoken-word artist, an educator and an advocate. She is a trailblazer. Her work has had a profound impact on both the Jewish community and beyond. Recently, the ADL honored her as a “Hero Against Hate.”
Vanessa embodies the bravery of Queen Esther, the pride of Mordecai and a little bit of Vashti’s attitude thrown in for good measure. She is a one-woman megillah.
How did we first meet? We were at a Jewish conference together — the Conversation, which was convened by the veteran Jewish journalist Gary Rosenblatt. At that conference, she did a performance of her signature poem, “Hebrew Mamita.” It was a celebration of her diverse, proud, take-no-prisoners Jewish identity — as a daughter of the Syrian-Jewish diaspora. She challenged Jewish stereotypes.
I was overwhelmed.
“Hebrew Mamita” became a classic. Vanessa performed it in New York City venues, and that was how she became a pioneering voice of Jewish identity in the slam poetry scene.
“Hebrew Mamita” was featured on HBO’s “Def Poetry Jam,” where she openly discussed her Jewish heritage. She founded the Kaleidoscope Project, a narrative-arts initiative that amplifies the stories of Jews of color, Sephardic and Mizrachi Jews, and those with interfaith experiences.
In the podcast, we talk about our responses to the murder of the Bibas children; what it means to be a Jew in the arts community after Oct. 7; and what it means to be politically homeless after Oct. 7.
And, we talked about her spoken-word piece, “Bad Jew”:
I told my friend I was a Zionist and immediately she looked unwell.
If I had known Zionist was now code for White supremacist — I would have sat her down first.
I would have whispered.
I wouldn’t have confessed my cultish ways in my MFA trained theater voice
in a bar in the heart of Manhattan.
I wouldn’t have allowed that long awkward silence
Before I followed up with the now obligatory — American- Jewish explanation
“I mean MY DEFINITION OF ZIONISM.”
I repeated it — hand over my heart like the national anthem
“MY DEFINITION OF ZIONISM” —
The Right for Israel To Exist.
I concluded with the lamest sh-t ever to come out of my Jewish mouth. “I’m still the same me.”
It’s unclear if I was trying to convince her or myself
I wanted her to remember it was me — the Jew who went to Police brutality marches
It was me — The Jew that has spent her life fighting for equality
It is me, The Jew raising a Black-Jewish-Dominican daughter
Me — The Good Jew.
My Jewish pride has been on display since my first open mic
Accepted.
Respected.
I’ll go as far as to say Unique and entertaining
My unofficial bio has been
“You gotta meet my girl Vanessa. She’s Jewish but I swear you would never know it.”
She’s Jewish but … She’s cool.
She’s Jewish but but but but but but.
She’s a good Jew.
I’ve surrendered to this.
Believing my mere presence in a sea of non-Jews would offset stereotypes.
Growing up in the conscious age of hip-hop
My Black and Latino friends were the driving force behind celebrating my identity.
Their fists and flags in the air
I longed to know that fierce pride
longed to know why I was white but my grandmother spoke Arabic.
longed to immerse myself in other cultures while
loving and honoring my own.
And I did it —
I became
“Jewey neurotic humor — sprinkled with NYC grit.”
Rockin with the very best from a hole in the wall in Brooklyn to a Def poetry jam stage on HBO.
I made my mark, called the spoken word scene home
All the puzzle pieces fit
until — anyone mentioned …
Israel.
Israel — always threw a wrench in the works.
Any time there was an incident in Israel
There would be a week or so of Israel bashing
Topped with a few antisemitic tropes in passing.
But I kept on Jewing.
Kept on talking about Jewish pride and avoided politics.
Everyone would forget about Israel again until October 7th
By October 8th my definition of Zionism was hijacked
By October 9th I posted an Israeli flag on Instagram and lost followers
By October 10th there were still no “hopes and prayers” for Israeli victims of terror
By October 11th I saw things I couldn’t unsee
By October 12th I knew I could no longer be a good Jew
An apologetic Jew
A Jew who has taken our homeland for granted
A Jew with a grandmother that ended up in New York but could have ended up in Israel
A Jew who now calls herself a Zionist and watches faces fall
A Zionist who some other artists won’t be on the same bill with
A Zionist who knows that Free speech is never so free as when it’s hate speech against Jews
A Zionist who knows Rape is not resistance
A Zionist that didn’t think she could feel more proud of her people
A Zionist who confronted a white man ripping down hostage posters
A Zionist who was called a white supremacist in front of her Black daughter
A Zionist who knew she needed to come to Israel.
To bear witness
To let them know we have your back
To apologize for being that American that only calls in emergencies
To tell you that what I’ve lost in people — I’ve gained in backbone.
To tell you I’m now a Bad Jew
A once accepted Jew
A grieving Jew
A standing Jew
A politically homeless Spoken Word Artist Jew
An awful, unapologetic, unwavering, proud till the f-ing end
Jew.
Vanessa is speaking for many Jews — especially after Oct. 7, and especially after the murders of the Bibas children by Hamas.
She is saying:
- We Jews are done apologizing for who we are.
- We Jews are done painting a barrier around our Zionist identity, and forcing it into the corner.
- We Jews are done equivocating about Israel.
- We Jews are done begging for a seat at the cool kids’ table.
- We Jews are done done done trying to force ourselves into your definition of the “good Jew.”
Like I said, Vanessa Hidary is a cool Jew.
We need more cool Jews like Vanessa Hidary.