Best Sellers

By Tammy Hopson

Mitchell County

Standing in the bookstore I browsed through the “Best Sellers”. The covers of the books were all facing forward and I could easily see the title of each of the 25 books that were voted the most popular.  Two books caught my eye:

“Under His Wings” by Emily Compagno and a book by Lysa TerKuerst titled “I Want to Trust You But I Don’t” stood out above them all.

They were the only books about spiritual things and were both non-fiction. Their subjects seemed to be opposite in their message. I quietly marveled at them picking up each one and reading its cover. I held them up side by side. I could relate to them both and I wanted to read them.

“Under His Wings” is a book about how faith in God fueled and aided the soldiers on the front lines as they fought our wars. It tells stories of how God met them on the battlefield and helped them through the most horrifying times of their lives and of our nation’s history. It shouts that without faith they could not have made it through the grueling events of war and battle and without Him there would be no victory.

The other book “I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t” speaks of hard times in a believer’s life when God’s presence, care, and concern are questioned and possibly doubted.  How poignant it is to me to see both books on the best sellers shelf at the bookstore and now to have them in my own library.

As God’s child, I understand both messages. My life is a testimony of both books.  I have stories like the soldiers do, not of actual wars but of times when I had to fight horrific battles. I can tell you of times when God delivered me through life’s toughest moments, and times when I felt completely under His wings, protected and loved by my Heavenly Father. I have testimonies of times when God saved my life, helped me out of difficult situations, healed my body, and provided for me when I was at my lowest. But honestly, I also have times when deep in my heart I have questioned God’s concern for me.

Have you had times like this? Perhaps you too have been through something so painful that you must ask why God has allowed it in your life if He truly loves you. For me, it is due to the loss of my oldest son. He died in 2018. I cannot understand why God took him away when he was only 28 years old or why He allowed this horrific pain of child loss in my life. I wonder what else will God allow? And how do I trust Him now, after the worst thing I can imagine?  This is a difficult challenge as a child of God and questions I face daily.

The only answer that comes to my heart is one of the most beautiful and vulnerable scriptures in the gospel. It is Mark 9:24 “….Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”  This simple and honest verse comes from a man who was desperate for his son’s healing. As He stood before Jesus asking for help, Jesus told Him that all things were possible to those who believed. In complete and utter honesty the man states that he does believe but there is a part of him that is struggling with trust. He recognizes his own human frailty to totally trust and believe and stands before the Creator openly admitting his own doubt. How hard this must have been!!  This man is a hero to me and I am so thankful for this simple sentence (and admission) in the scriptures. Each day as I face a world without my son and as so many questions reel in my heart I have no choice but to pray this same prayer “Lord help my unbelief”.  I know that God is hearing my request.

As I write this, there is so much tragedy around us. There are people I know fighting cancer, others are struggling to rebuild homes after the hurricane and the headlines today tell of a local mother and daughter who drove off the road and are gone. So many tears are being shed and people are hurting and crying out to God. David also cried out like this in Psalm 13 ….

“How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and hear me, O Lord my God;
Enlighten my eyes,
Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
 Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.”

 David starts brutally honest and states that he feels forgotten by God.

But look how the Psalm ends.

“But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
 I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

He ends with praise!! Perhaps the story of our lives starts like this Psalm or the book “I Want to Trust You But I Don’t” but after our sincere honesty before the Lord and our request to God to “help our unbelief,” our story ends in victory.  Like the testimonies in “Under His Wings,” we will tell others our stories of victory and defeat over an enemy that battled us on every hand! I am believing this for my own life.  And I know that although I must carry the heaviness of grief for my son now, there will be a day when God will lift it forever and my heart will rejoice like David’s in this Psalm.

I am wondering about your story. What place are you in? Are you going through a time when trusting God seems hard? Are you doubting in His love for you? If so I beg you to keep praying the Mark 9:24 prayer “Lord, help my unbelief”. Or maybe you are going through a time of victory and you are seeing God’s deliverance and mercy. Then tell it to others! Encourage those around you with your testimony! No matter where you are, I feel certain that you and I will end up at the same place together, the place where David was at the end of Psalm 13 as he looked back at his life.  It will be a place of victory and declaration that throughout our lives God really did deal bountifully with us, and our hearts will be singing as we continually rejoice in our salvation.

Now that is the place to be!

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Tammy Hopson has been a Mitchell County resident since 1992 and lives in Red Hill with her family. She is a mother of six children and grandmother of 14. She has been a member of Hoyle Memorial Christian Fellowship in Lawndale, NC since 1992 and helps lead The HMCF Youth Group.

Read more content for today’s Christian and Christian news here.

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