I recently had the pleasure of reading Nico Lang’s new book “American Teenager: How Trans Kids are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era.” Lang shares stories of trans teenagers across America in their own words, specifically to show that trans teenagers are not a monolith.

They don’t all desire surgery as part of their medical transition, though some do. They don’t all aspire to pass as cisgender, though some do. They, like all American teenagers, just want the freedom to be themselves.

I first heard of Lang’s work at the Free Mom Hugs Conference earlier this year, where Lang was a keynote speaker. A generous advocate purchased enough copies of Lang’s book to ensure every conference attendee went home with one. Ever the bibliophile, I’m always excited to add a new book to my personal library (as is my wife, thank goodness), so I eagerly packed it in my suitcase to bring home.

I was particularly interested in exploring Lang’s book because they are a journalist; they aren’t writing from a faith-based perspective. Even though I’m a queer pastor who writes extensively at the intersection of queerness and faith, I don’t want to be ignorant to the triumphs, trials and trends within the LGBTQ+ community outside of a faith context.

Sitting on my porch, cool drink in hand and cherishing the breeze on a Virginia summer afternoon, I cracked open “American Teenager” to learn about the eight teens Lang interviewed extensively for this project. 

As I read, I encountered stories that are typically expected in the lives of teenagers: crushes, prom jitters and post-graduation anxiety. Their stories took me back to my own high school memories. But one thing surprised me: nearly every participant talked about how religion has impacted their ability to embrace their transness.

A couple discussed religion in a positive light, such as the young woman whose Episcopal church held a name change liturgy for her, or the young man who socially transitioned at such a young age that most people in his mosque don’t bat an eye when he worships on the men’s side. Others, though, shared stories that are unfortunately all-too common in America today: disfellowship from the church their family called home for years; teary-eyed Southern Baptist women speaking hatefully against trans students during school board meetings; judgment and harassment from religious strangers.

As I read their stories, I was reminded of a sobering reality: religion (especially conservative Christianity) affects queer youth whether they practice or not. That is the epitome of religious persecution. 

When a faith is weaponized so drastically that it negatively impacts the lives of people who don’t adhere to that faith tradition, it has shamelessly crossed the line dividing Church from state. That’s why conversations about affirming trans and nonbinary people in the church are so important. 

As much as I wish religion would not impact our politics, it does. Until we can build and concretize the wall separating Church and state, the Church has to do its part to ensure the gospel we share is one built on the radically inclusive love of Christ, not one that kowtows to the greed of empire. Otherwise, we will continue to see the consequences that arise from the normalization of harmful theology as it evolves from theory into practice.

However, there’s one thing about these stories in “American Teenager” that conveys a profoundly necessary message for us today: these teenagers have the love and support of their parents. I couldn’t help but tear up as I read story after story of parents driving their teens to their hormone replacement therapy appointments, meeting new partners, engaging in family movie night and simply doing life together.

These quiet moments challenge the prevailing message in the media that most parents don’t want or affirm queer kids. Parents are offering better (if still imperfect) ways of being that simply aren’t dramatic enough for mainstream media coverage. We especially need to hear how commonplace those stories are.

I’m thankful for the myth-busting work Lang has done with this book and continues to do on their Patreon account Queer News Daily. As people of faith, we need voices like Lang’s to remind us what’s at stake in our own work. 

“American Teenager” is available now from major retailers. Lang is currently doing a nationwide book tour.