Depression often descends like a black cloud, and it leaves you feeling disoriented, alone, and confused. Many times, those stuck in the cloud can’t see the way out. The best gift you can offer your struggling spouse is your presence, rather than pressure, and curiosity rather than correction.

For me, I struggled with a lot of guilt. I felt that I should have been fine. I loved my life. I felt I was ruining my husband’s carefree existence when I burst into tears or became overwhelmed with normal daily life. I was ashamed and was living under the lie that people of faith who had good lives should not be depressed. What I didn’t understand, and no one around me helped me discover, was that what I was struggling with was a post-partum brain chemical imbalance. My symptoms were not a moral failure; they were symptoms of a biological imbalance.

Simply having someone truly take the time to inquire about my feelings, my story, my struggle, my why, rather than avoiding my situation because it was overwhelming, could have helped me find my way out of the dark so much sooner. These conversations are often not easy, but being willing to offer a patient ear to your partner can be life-changing. Stay engaged. Check in regularly, and encourage your partner to expand their support network beyond just you. Let them know you see them, you are there for them, you are proud of them, and they can rely on you as a shoulder to cry on when life feels like more than you can handle on your own.