How do we receive the benefits of Christ’s perfect and all-sufficient mediation which enables us to grow in salvation? The means of grace. Therefore, it is right and proper (and lovingly pastoral) to communicate to our people their need for the means of grace. It is for their growth in faith, assurance, holiness, love, identity in Christ, doctrine, service, fellowship, missions, evangelism, biblical worldview, and much more. To downplay the means of grace is to neglect someone’s growth and joy in Christ—and that is a serious error.
“Perhaps more than any previous generation of Christians, our generation needs to be saturated in the wisdom, grace, goodness, and health-giving clarity of God’s truth. We need our minds decluttered and then refreshed by the ‘wisdom that comes down from above’ (James 3:15). We live in a world of deceptive illusions—powerful, seductive illusions—that are out to ensnare us and kill us. Calvin was absolutely right: we need every given opportunity to hear God’s living, clarifying, deception-scattering word. So my question to you is this: Do you prize every given opportunity to hear God’s Word? You could read this as a rebuke, and in a measure you might be right in doing so. But, rather, see this question as a loving exhortation to hunt out every opportunity to sit under the ministry of God’s Word. Not because quantity matters more than quality; but because God Himself speaks to us by His Spirit through His Word every time it is faithfully proclaimed. I have a good friend in the USA who was accused by some church members of being ‘legalistic’ because he encouraged them not to be satisfied with coming to worship once a week. His encouragement was not legalistic, it was the kind, thoughtful, caring encouragement of a pastor set apart to care for Christ’s sheep. May we all be like the Psalmist who wrote, ‘I was glad when they said to me, “Let us go to the house of the LORD!”’ (Ps. 122:1).”
– Ian Hamilton in The Gospel-Shaped Life
This is one of my favorite responses to hear from a couple during premarital counseling: “The worst part about dating or being engaged is the fact that you have to go home separately each night.” That is always a good sign–for numerous reasons. But the primary reason that this encourages me is the fact that the couple is sad when they must be apart from one another.
You do not have to convince those who truly love each other to spend time together. In a loving relationship, the hard part is times apart. It is true, loving relationships go through seasons. Interestingly, those who truly love each other can often feel certain levels of conviction that they could be doing more to love that person better. Sometimes this can be true but other times it is frankly just a longing to have more capacity to love someone more.
It is not legalistic to tell a couple who loves each other to make sure they make time to be with each other. It is part of what will only strengthen their relationship and help them to delight in their relationship.