When we consider that the soul or spiritual self is a primary part of the whole person, we can see our need to focus on and attend to that aspect of living. 

Yet, language limited by our materialistic culture makes it difficult to communicate. The revealing of the spiritual life requires a marked degree of faith because it is not in the awareness of the casually unfocused, unaware or unbelieving person. 

Seeing or discerning the spiritual requires personal awareness, attending, and attuning along with faith, “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). 

Our spiritual intelligence (SQ) informs us of meanings, values, and priorities— what is most important for self, others, and the common good. Danah Zohar and Ian Marshall revealed this in their book, SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence. They contend that while one’s spirituality may not be seen, it can be known and developed. 

Jesus told the Pharisee, Nicodemus, who came to him in the dark, “What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John. 3:6-8).

Our spirituality manifests as consciousness, conscience and compassion. Given it is meaning or value-led, it is essential to our purpose.

Spiritual compassion is best defined as a form of love. And when love sees differences, conflicts or suffering and continues to be loving, that is compassion. It embraces differences and sees value in them, that is loving your neighbor as much as yourself. 

We can enhance our SQ with self-awareness by attending and attuning to that aspect of self, which also includes curiosity, intuition, compassion, embracing the celebration of diversity, independent thinking, seeing the big picture and resilience.

Spiritual awareness also involves the heart, our emotions and feelings. Thus, it is the felt way of knowing through the internal perception of human experiences. It is largely experienced in open, honest and vulnerable interactions in trusting relationships. 

If we metaphorically humanize the divine (the deity, God) as a person, then one can enhance SQ. Seeing the universal life force of creation as having our personal best interest at heart helps connect the spiritual and material worlds for more familiarity and application. This can be a type of relationship that makes the Spirit (spiritual) ever-present. 

Then we can imagine aspects of the invisible, spiritual, greater force/higher power in whatever form or by whatever name we choose. But we must recognize that it is greater than any human being.

The challenge is to turn toward our conflicts, differences, and difficulties with spiritual ascension, nonjudgmental awareness, and spiritual compassion (actions) as we relate to others. This is how trusting relationships are formed and maintained. 

Relationships are everything and being trustworthy is a requirement in healthy relationships. As Matt Sturtevant and I wrote in From Distrust to Trust: Controversies and Conversations in Faith Communities, the cycle of building trust starts with humility, knowing that we are not the ultimate, highest, or superior being. 

Trusting relationships are based on equality. When we see ourselves as equal to other humans—no better or worse than—we actuate the value of equality when comparing oneself to everyone. This enables and empowers acceptance, affirmation and inclusion. 

“Equality is an egalitarian concept that is easy to embrace but challenging to actuate. However, it is nothing more than hypocritical deception without accompanying behaviors of respect, affirmations and inclusion. Equality without inclusion evades justice. Equality with inclusion embraces justice,” Sturtevant and I wrote in From Distrust to Trust.

Other essential ingredients for building trust in compassionate relationships include incumbent acceptance, friendliness (relationality), and hospitality, expressed by serving others. Jesus modeled this for us as he was the ultimate servant leader.

Building trusting relationships requires clear, meaningful, honest and effective interpersonal communication that includes listening with empathy. Listening is more important than speaking in building a new, trusting relationship. Compassionate spiritual and religious traditions (practices) and scriptures (inspired holy words) can also have utility in developing our spiritual intelligence and trusting relationships. 

While it is possible to hone our spiritual self in isolation, it is limited by our own level of awareness, imagination and understanding. Thus, it is usually more productive to have a companion, guide, guru and/or teacher so that we can benefit from their experiences and knowledge too.