If I were to be honest with you, depression has been a toxic friend of mine for quite some time. She doesn’t always stick around or let me know she’s coming, either. She generally shows up uninvited, sits right next to me, and whispers empty words of hopelessness that bring on agitation, all while depleting every ounce of my energy. Truth be told, I don’t like her. Yet, I always seem to end up entertaining her when she drops in. And, let me tell you, she loves to overstay her welcome and truly enjoys putting a wedge in every one of my relationships, especially my marriage.

Friend, if you have a spouse struggling and suffering from this mental illness or something of the like, let me first extend my heartfelt sympathy. While I have battled depression on and off for the last twenty years or so, I can attest that it has put quite a strain on my marriage, causing a ripple effect of frustration, confusion, and helplessness for both of us.

Let me start by saying that you and your dear spouse are not alone on this journey, even though it can often feel lonely. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in five adults will suffer from depression. That is twenty percent of Americans! Given this statistic, this is greatly impacting the quality of our home environments and causing massive emotional distress to our marriages. However, if I may reassure you, there are ways to navigate these trying times and seek hope together.

So, that being said, I would like to take a moment to address this sensitive issue and offer support to you and your spouse. Because we have been there and will most likely be there again. Thankfully, we serve a God that understands the depths of our pain and the nature of our hearts, so let’s lean into what His Word says and seek His love and peace.

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9