When we find ourselves battling real feelings and overwhelming temptations, it’s time to lay it all out before our spouse. Proverbs 11:3 instructs, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Our lies destroy us!

Maybe your lie is more of a lie of omission, and you are surprised to find yourself in this place, truly struggling to remain faithful to your vows. Oftentimes, sin and temptation sneak into our stories. We don’t often seek out ways to hurt others, but no matter how you end up here, you must bring your partner into your struggle.

When we shine light on our temptation, it has no choice but to shrink. If our partner knew the feelings we were struggling with, would we be willing to send those sets of messages? If they had full access to our phones, social media, email, computers, etc., would we feel comfortable or ashamed? If they were in the office with us every day, seeing how we look at and interact with our coworkers and the kinds of conversations we have with them, would they be proud of us or shocked by the inappropriate connections we have with those around us?

Our lives should be an open book for our partner, and if there is a part of your book you are hiding, then you are making space for sin to grow. Don’t heap hurt onto your spouse by both lying to them and also cheating on them. Come clean before you devastate both of your lives. If your marriage is in an unhealthy and desperate place, then end your marriage before moving into a new relationship. Show both your spouse and the person you have an interest in the love, respect, and care that is required for a healthy relationship by keeping all actions in the light.