When we as believers live life in the light, we should still expect the “father of lies” and his minions to taunt us with shame scripts and whispers of lies. How do fight this? In Luke 10:19, Jesus tells us “Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.”
We were stuck. “I’m done with the marriage,” she said. Years of subtle neglect had shut her down. She would remain married, but there would be no marriage. He was desperate. He heard his wife’s hurt and confessed his neglect. He was willing to change. In our sessions thereafter, he appeared earnest and his actions seemed to prove his sincerity. But she didn’t trust him and wouldn’t let down her guard.
Deep down I felt something was amiss, but didn’t know what it was. Several times she assured us that there was no other man involved.
Then the day came. I knew from the moment I greeted them in the lobby that something was very different. His face was shattered. Her mascara was smeared. As soon as we were in the room it came out, she had been having an affair.
Making space for grief and truth, healing could finally begin.
Satan’s shadow is shame. Jesus calls the Enemy the “father of lies” “because there is no truth in him” (Jn 8:44). We might also call him “the father of secrets.”
“No one will understand.” “I’ll lose my job.” “My children will disown me.” “My wife will leave me.” “No one will look at me the same.”
The voice of shame is consistent. It catastrophizes and wants us to hide our secrets. Shame begets more shame as we create new secrets to cover up past secrets. It tells us that the pain will be too much, that things will get better over time if we just keep our secret hidden for a little longer.
Shame is a liar. Your secrets will keep you sick.
Have you ever disclosed sin to a trustworthy and godly friend? What happened? Did your friend shun you? Crush you with unfeeling rebuke? I bet not. I bet they listened. They might have teared up with you. Perhaps they put a hand on your shoulder. They thanked you for your honesty and told you that God was with you.
John reminds us that “God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all” (1 Jn 1:5). The Enemy hides in the shadows, but God illuminates our hearts.