Forgiveness is a difficult doctrine, both to understand and to practice. There will, unfortunately, be situations in all our lives that will require us to extend extraordinary forgiveness to another person. And when those times come, the Lord will be near to help us process our pain and grief, and his Spirit will gently and faithfully get us to a place where we can forgive.
Understanding Forgiveness
The biblical concept of forgiveness is so rich and multifaceted that there are a million aspects of the doctrine we could spend years pondering and trying to fully understand. Likewise, if we are talking about forgiveness as it relates to one person forgiving another person, the spectrum on which the need for forgiveness falls is vast. Some of us are struggling to forgive something harsh said to us—others of us have suffered horrific abuse and are trying to figure out what forgiveness even looks like and where to begin.
What we’ll reflect on here relates primarily to the former: those of us who are having a hard time forgiving someone who has misunderstood or misrepresented us, who holds a different view theologically or politically than we do—or who frankly just gets on our nerves. Psalm 103 helps us navigate such situations by revealing key attributes that characterize God, and that by extension, should be true of those who bear his name. These characteristics help us by putting our frustrations and disappointments—our need to forgive— in perspective.
Psalm 103:8 uses a refrain found throughout the Old Testament to teach us what God is like:
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Throughout the Bible we are told that the Lord is “slow to anger.” We sin and rebel and disobey like petulant children, and yet God’s steadfast love holds us tight. He isn’t perpetually angry with or irritated by us, even though he has every reason and right to be.
But if there is any phrase that does not describe the world we live in—or our own natural, response to offenses—“slow to anger” is it. Left by ourselves, every minor slight is more offensive than it truly is. We get mad fast and our anger lingers. When someone upsets us, we want an apology, and we want it yesterday.
Forgiveness and being “slow to anger” are closely related. The truth is, we would have less to forgive if we weren’t so quick to get irritated. Anger clouds our thoughts and makes us believe that things are true even when they aren’t. Ecclesiastes 7:9 warns us to:
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
for anger lodges in the heart of fools.
Misplaced or Unjustified Anger
Misplaced or unjustified anger makes us think and act irrationally. In fact, sin is so devious it can even trick us into thinking we are due forgiveness, when in reality we should be seeking it.
People who are quick to get angry tend to also be people who are slow to forgive. This is one reason the Bible emphasizes the link between anger and forgiveness. God’s word exhorts us not to cling to offenses, but rather to overlook them in love.