Some preach about being “you” in this world, while others advocate against individualism. But what if we can have both— a society that values the individual and a collection of people working together? 

Recently, I have started to be more myself than ever imagined. I am learning my own expressions of emotion and ways of thinking. I have given away items I no longer use and for the most part, tried to speak without filters. 

It has been challenging. My thoughts fight against me every step of the way as I doubt my choices. 

I recently listened to a podcast that explained that to find the real you, you have to strip away the old program. The “program” is what society taught you to think and be. It is how you were raised, and the limited exposure to experience you were given. 

Growing up, my program was a white evangelical neurotypical sexist world. I must fight against these “-isms” that live inside me every day. 

Some of my thoughts are ableist and others sexist, both originating from what I was taught to believe. However, the God I follow keeps paving the way to truth and authenticity. This has given me information and exposure to things outside my limited perspective, bringing out parts of me forced out by the world. 

The more I go down this journey, the more I see it is worth it. My true feelings are shining through. 

Little by little, I am standing up for what I believe and speaking the truth to the “-isms.” I am learning what it means to move and support my own needs.

I have found value in knowing that nothing I experience is unique to me. Who I am comes from a collection of all my traits, story, biology and environment.

I am more than anyone can place into a box. This led me to understand all the passing thoughts are prompts I can choose to follow or let fade away. 

Don’t get me wrong— it is hard as hell, but I am slowly seeing my mindset shift. I am also seeing the people around me shift. I have come to know others who would have stayed distant because they have a similar life experience. 

They have survived and endured. As I begin to understand myself, I see how parts of me can only arise in a community. 

For those who know the enneagram, I am an eight with a seven wing. My “8ness” comes out as curiosity about others, “challenging” them, and showing a way. My “7ness” comes out as a desire for new experiences and a need for growth.

Without the other “types” (representing archetypes people can “fit” into as a tool), I don’t see the different parts of myself when alone. 

Ones show me to fight in the system as well. Twos show me passion. Threes show me ambition. Fours show me identity. Fives show me the value of having more information. Sixes show me loyalty. Sevens show me similar adventures. Eights show me similar resilience. Nines show me compassion and community.

Without others, I don’t learn as much. I don’t progress. I don’t have the resources I need. I don’t have the fundamental human need of connection met. 

Without others, I would lose parts of the collection of who I know myself to be.