To start asking the “what” questions too early can do more harm than good, as if we are denying that what’s happening to us is real and that we are terribly sad because of it. But at some point, by God’s grace, shifting that one word can make a world of difference. It can move us into a posture of humility, accepting that God can take what is terrible and use it for good.
“Why?”
It’s a question every parent is familiar with. And, at least in my experience, it’s both beautiful and annoying at the same time. It’s beautiful in the sense that it exposes the natural curiosity and wonder of our children. It shows us their seemingly insatiable desire to discover and know. It propels them into greater and greater learning as they encounter more and more of the world around them. But it’s also annoying.
It’s annoying because most of the time, there is no end to it. Your kids ask you “why” something is, and the majority of the time, that only leads to another “why” question. You can explain and explain and explain and yet there is still more to explain, until at some point, most every parent answers the “why” question like this:
“Just because.”
Kids grow, and as they do, they also tend to ask “why” less and less. It doesn’t disappear entirely, but it’s like that natural sense of wonder gets beaten out of them. Their creative curiosity starts to ebb, and it’s as if they care less and less about the reasons behind certain things. They begin to accept that things are the way they are and they no longer need an explanation for it. And then they become adults. They become us. And we don’t ask the “why” question a whole lot. But when we do, we usually do it out of a posture of pain.
We are hurting because of disease, death, destruction or else the general chaos we see in the world around us. We can accept a lot, but every once in a while that chaos becomes too personal and too overwhelming for us to accept much more. And so, like children, we once again cry out, “Why?”
- Why is my wife sick?
- Why can’t I find a job?
- Why is there so much anger in the world?
- Why is God allowing this to happen?