When we understand that honesty is the hardest part of overcoming addiction, this approach makes more sense to us. Yes, there are a myriad of steps they need to take after this. But that shouldn’t cause us to rush our loved one through the first, intimidating step of being honest with God, self, and others.
There is nothing easy about overcoming an addiction. As we explore what would be the hardest part of this process, I want to be careful not to minimize other parts of the journey. But when you talk to people who were once slaves to substance abuse and are now experiencing significant freedom, a common refrain emerges when you ask: What was the hardest part of your journey?
Before I offer an answer to this question, take a moment to reflect. What is your best guess?
- Physical withdrawal symptoms
- Loneliness that comes from severing ties with friends who are also fellow addicts
- Figuring out what to do with the time formerly invested into the addiction
- Learning new, healthy forms of entertainment
- Managing the fallout of emotional and financial stresses caused by addiction
These are all real and all difficult factors. But they are often not the hardest. Actually, these challenge all come after what is commonly the hardest part of overcoming addiction.
So, what is the hardest part? Being honest. There is so much to be honest about when you’re overcoming addiction.
- You must be honest with yourself—acknowledge the problem is “that bad,” that you need help, that the idea that you “could quit if you wanted to” is a lie, that your friends and family were being compassionate when they brought concerns to you, etc.
- You must be honest with God—acknowledge that you desperately need his help, that his ways are better than your ways, that he isn’t “old fashioned” or “controlling” but liberating and life-giving, that it’s not good for you to try to overcome your struggle alone, etc.
- You must be honest with others—acknowledge that you have lied to them, that your actions have impacted their life, that they were right, and you refused to listen, that you need their help, that what you used to call “help” was enabling, etc.
Why Honesty Is So Hard
When it comes to something as monumental as overcoming addiction, it is often the guilt and shame that comes with being honest that most impedes our efforts to engage in the process of change.