Find a Bible-believing church where you can start building those relationships. Seek out a biblical counseling ministry so that a counselor can walk you through your struggles. Pray that God might bring a friend or mentor like that into your life. It might feel terrifying to admit your sin but remember that fear is a tactic of Satan. God is a God of light, not darkness. Bringing your sin into the light will bring healing; keeping it in the dark will only make it fester.
I sat with her that Sunday morning, my dear mentor, with tears welling up in my eyes, heart pounding. She slipped her arm around me and whispered in my ear her guess of what was tormenting me. I nodded, relieved that she had verbalized the sin I wasn’t able to confess. And then she drew me close and began praying for me—and didn’t stop praying for me throughout the battle that followed.
From that initial moment, the shame of darkness was lifted. I was able to confide in a few other friends as well, and together the accountability—however painful—brought the relief of knowing I was not alone in this struggle.
Accountability is raw and real. There are things we don’t want to say out loud, but the naming of them brings cleansing. When we choose to be accountable, we let another person in, choosing to be vulnerable and releasing any pretense of perfection. This is good for our souls. In order to be fully known, we have to trust others with our stubborn sins and wandering love. And in so doing, our faith is built up stronger.
Therefore, we will explore two main reasons why we need to confess our sins to one another in the church. Because this process is vulnerable, we also need to keep a few guidelines in mind so that more believers may be set free from the power of secret sin.
Confessing Sins Helps to Avoid Shipwrecking Our Faith
Isolation and self-dependency will bring great ruin in a believer’s life. The tending of shame and guilt will result in storms of chaos if we don’t do something about it. But we’re afraid. Afraid of what people will think if we admit we fell prey to that sin—the sin we never thought we’d be capable of.
In 1 Corinthians 10:12–13, Paul warns us of this, though: “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
Our pride gets in the way of confessing seeds of sin in our hearts. We’re upstanding church members, Bible study leaders, and parents. How could we possibly have given in to that thought or secret habit? So we nod and smile in small group prayer times, asking for more patience and wisdom while skirting around the things we don’t want to admit.
But the more we convince ourselves that such a sin isn’t possible for us, the more we quietly give in to it, convincing ourselves it’s not that bad. And unfortunately, before too long, that sin will break forth into the open, causing scandal and more hurt than we could have dreamed of.
If we had only been honest with someone at the beginning, we could have sought help to fight that sin in its cloudy stages. We could have found counsel and not felt like we were drowning in a sea of darkness.
Confessing Sins Helps the Gospel Shine Brighter
Several years ago, I listened to an interview with Mike Donehey, lead singer of the band Tenth Avenue North. He said that if we refuse to talk about some sins, we are not believing the gospel because those sins are the very ones Christ died to save us from. Those temptations are the ones his sacrifice gives us power to overcome.
This was life-changing for me. I had given in to the lie that there were some sins that were too “big” for believers—and believing that lie gave those temptations power over me. Yet Christ is more powerful. He’s canceled the debt of every sin through his atoning death and resurrection; therefore I don’t have to fear when temptation comes my way.